Damn… #realmartachronicles

…I really did bogart that old woman out of my way so I could get a seat on the train. Not good :-/

Forgive Me, Father…. #realmartachronicles

…but I am CRACKING UP at this older woman who can’t figure out how to answer her old a** flip phone!! LMAO!!!

It keeps ringing with this jazz ringtone, she keeps opening it up, saying “hello? hello??” while the ringtone is playing. LOL plus it’s loud as hell and she keeps flinching when she puts it to her ear. * good times*

You Know There’s a “White” Event in the City When…#realmartachronicles

…all MARTA platforms are filled with white people….especially the preppy ones and when they are having SO much fun navigating MARTA.

You also know because it’s the only time there’s a good police presence– other than when a bunch of cops just finished arresting some thugs.

Also, there’s always a group of eager white folks who get on the wrong train…..and everyone knows they’re on the wrong train…and waits for the inevitable “wait!!! Oh ma god! This is the wrong traiiiiiin!”

Freaky Friday…#realmartachronicles

Looking forward to a nice calm ride into work but instead have too old hood rats talking about getting high, the Secret Service sex scandal, the rules of prostitution, how they are not into lesbian sex (let me remind you, they are OLD) and getting pregnant on prom night.

Then there’s two people on this train with no teeth but they keep “chewing”….why is that??

Then there’s a young woman with a squeaky mouse voice who feels the need to speak as loud as possible. *annoying*

But, on a good note, there’s an older white man and a young black man intelligently discussing news and politics. Good stuff!

So, this is what I’ve “learned” thus far:
- “If you a Columbian ho tryna get paid you shoulda got to money up front or you should gi (get) to money up front or gi (give) him a lil bit…an’ get to money….gi him summo…an’ get to money….wha u want me to blow on it?! Gimme $20 ..”

- There are southern, older white men who want Obama to succeed.

- the absence of teeth makes you want to chew…at least until you get to 5 Points Station.

- people who get pregnant on prom night 35 years ago talk about it on the train….LOUDLY

Bless His Heart…#realmartachronicles

Men still try to pick up women with “what’s your sign?” LOL sympathetically funny

Wow, In 2012, Do People Still…#realmartachronicles

….”do the knowledge” on the train? “Peace, god…” I guess so. They’re over there doing the math and unlocking the universe LOL

B!+(h, if you and your Mattel hair line lace front…. #realmartachronicles

…. don’t move so I can get my seat, I’m gonna snatch it and toss it back thataway as a diversion tactic

Claire Huxtable Doesn’t Tip?…#realmartachronicles

….funny to over hear a phone conversation between a car wash employee and somebody and how he explains how “the mama from the cosby show came by today and I did her car…man I just knew I was gonna get a fat tip, I mean at least 10….maaaan, she said ‘thank youuuu’ all fast and jumped in her car…”

Amused

When Getting on a Crowded Train … #realmartachronicles

…it’s more polite to get your rotund ass away from the door rather than trying to make friends. I’m just saying….it’s nice to meet you too but move it, I’m trying to get a seat!!

When You Get on The Train Smelling Like Sh!t… #realmartachronicles

…why do you want to sit by me?!? On another note, I’m embarrassed (not sure for you or me) that it took 3 transit stops for me to realize you are a woman.
Forgive me, Father.